Where is the hickey?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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