in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
