No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize