don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
