Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Randomize
