So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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