I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
