Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
