so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
