Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
