I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
