Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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