i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
