the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
