Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
