Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
