There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
