Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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