be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize