i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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