Got a toothbrush?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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