Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
