Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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