Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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