Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
