I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
