turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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