I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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