i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
