All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
