Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
