My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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