butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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