I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
