It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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