Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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