I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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