tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize