I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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