It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
