I just threw up on my dentist
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
