he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
