We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He better not be in your backpack
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
