I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
