Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
