Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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