Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
