Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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