I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
