shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You're a waste of cheezeits
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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