I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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