wat bout pragnant strippers??
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
