Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
