Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
