it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
