Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
