conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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