I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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