A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
