Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
