More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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