Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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