It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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