I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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