Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Congratulations! We have a period
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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