At least make sure they are 18
Why
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is Oprah even human
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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