I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
