I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
