my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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