It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How does one acquire holy water?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
