My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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